cockroaches and God´s unfailing love

I absolutely HATE cockroaches! I live in fear in my own apartment that I´ll see one. At night, I do not enter a room without first turning on the light and glancing around. Oftentimes I startle myself, thinking I´ve seen one out of the corner of my eyes, but then realize that it was only my imagination. When I do discover one, my heart starts pounding and I shudder, and sometimes scream. Once, I curled up in a ball on the couch, willing it to go away so I wouldn´t have to deal with it.

But, since I do not have roommates, I have to take care of the cockroaches myself. You do not want to see me when it´s wartime! Since my initial reaction to seeing a cockroach is to run and hide under the covers, I have to sike myself up for the task ahead. First, if I´m not already wearing good, solid footgear, I go to my closet and pull out my ¨SOB cockroach killer¨ boots. Yes, I am afraid that not-so-nice words come out of my mouth when there is a cockroach to deal with. Next, I slowly approach the nasty bug and stomp on it as hard as I possibly can. If I miss, the roach scurries away, and I do a jittery-shivery-shake/dance, swear, and go after it again. Sometimes, my whole apartment becomes uprooted while I´m at war! But I usually win, sweep up the roach and triumphantly dump it in the garbage.

The day before my birthday I realized that it had been a couple weeks since I´d seen a cockroach. I don´t usually go that long, and for a few days I had become more and more wary upon entering a room. Sure enough, that night before going to bed, I spotted one. Out came the boots, the foul word, and stomp, sweep,  dump! Off to bed I went, praying for a cockroach-free birthday.

But sad day! As women were arriving for my cooking class, I saw one scuttle across the room--in broad daylight! Oh, how could that be! Horrible! Beyond words! He died with all the ferocity I could muster.

In addition to having to face a cockroach on my birthday, the day was also a dreary one. Cold, cloudy, windy, and it even rained a bit. I was surprised, because my birthday is almost always sunny and warm (I like to think it´s a gift from God). But the events of the day were starting to make me wonder if God was trying to teach me something.

The devotional I had read that morning was from John 15 on remaining in God´s love. It talked about the importance of recognizing God´s great and incomprehensible love for us. This knowledge leads us to unwaveringly trust in His goodness and plan for us. Even when we face hard situations or uncertainty, we can rest in His love.

¨Our dwelling, the home of our soul, ought to be the love of Christ.¨ Hmmmm....do I dwell in Christ´s love? It sure becomes difficult to trust God and remember his love for us when our day isn´t going as we´d like it to. It´s easy to become discouraged and wonder if God really cares or if he´s listening when we are facing hardships and uncertainties. We start to doubt his love for us. This is why being rooted in God´s unconditional, unfailing love at all times is so vital. Make your home in Christ´s love. Let him be the source that brings you life and joy.

¨Take your eyes off of the visible in order to see and have the invisible.¨ God could have given me a warm, sunny, cockroach-free day. I would have known his love for me in that. But he chose to give me a cockroach (that I so mercilessly killed), to show me how his love for me goes even deeper than mere circumstances.