I´ve gotten pretty used to my North African friends trying to hook me up with one of their brothers, sons, or other male relatives. In their minds, I´m single and it´s their duty to see that resolved. Fortunately, I´m able to just laugh it all off--even though I know they are dead serious about the whole matter. I´m pretty sure that my domestic abilities and Arabic language learning adds fuel to their fire. I mean, I´m single and know how to cook...they cannot fathom how I could possibly still be unmarried.
I suppose I should be flattered that so many women desire me to be a part of their family. But I´ve had a couple scenarios now where I´m left uncertain as how to respond. I become fully aware that I am not in Minnesota anymore and in a completely different culture where very different ideals are expressed.
My first story happened several months ago. I was going for a walk with a friend when we crossed paths with another North African lady. I don´t know her very well, but I´ve seen her and know who she is. After the usual greetings, she turned to me and asked if I were married. I told her no. She proceeded in very broken Spanish to tell me that a male relative of hers was in North Africa and wanting to move to Spain. However, he was unable to get the necessary papers. She asked me if I´d marry him so that he could move to Spain. I wasn´t quite sure I understood her right, nor was my friend. But the whole situation was repeated, and that´s indeed what she was asking. Ummmm.....no! I´m afraid that I haven´t remained single just so that I could marry some dude just so he can move to another country. Anyways, my marrying him wouldn´t have helped resolve his situation anyways...I´m not Spanish!
The second story happened last week. I have gotten to know one lady pretty well as she comes to all my cooking classes and is just a couple years older than myself. She´s very nice and I enjoy talking with her. The other day I was walking to the store when I bumped into her. We stopped to say hi and she introduced me to her husband. Then we parted ways. A few days later, she came to my cooking class and said, ¨Good news! My husband wants to marry you!¨ Say what??? She must have seen the absolute confusion on my face because she proceeded to say, ¨After you left my husband told me that he thinks you´re beautiful and wants to marry you. North African men are allowed up to four wives.¨ Hmmm...I knew that, but I was quite surprised that he would have said such a thing to his wife. And that she would tell me that it´s good news! Call me old-fashioned, but if I had a husband, I would be pretty jealous! There´s no way that I´d be sharing my husband with anyone. Uff-da!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Walking Survival Skills
Walking down the street here in Málaga, Spain is not a piece of cake! There are new rules to be followed. I´m not sure of what those rules are, other than to hold your ground and don´t chicken out before the person approaching you does--even if there is plenty of space on either side of you to pass by. Let the other person move out of the way! Oh, and if you notice someone on the sidewalk, quite out of your way, change your route to aim right at that person and give them a good bump as you walk past.
At first, I took great offense at all this. I mean, doesn´t anyone realize I´ve got an invisible bubble around me saying, don´t invade my space?! I have only recently starting getting better at all this playing ¨chicken¨ and shifting my shoulders so as to pass people by without moving out of the way. But try doing that when you go out for a run!
Crossing the street is yet another story. Surprisingly, I learned that skill much quicker than the skill of walking down the sidewalk. You just need a lot of confidence! And you have to understand the difference between crosswalks. There is one kind of crosswalk that has lights and pedestrians have to wait their turn (this one is the safest). The others don´t have lights and vehicles have to stop every time there is a pedestrian about to cross (although they step on the break at the last second!) Because of this, it takes a lot of confidence to take that first step into the street. To be honest, it can be a kind of thrill-ride, taking those first steps and hearing the screeching cars come to a halt. It´s kind of empowering, and I often think of the song, ¨I´ve Got the Power¨ by Snap!
So now that I´m starting to get the hang of walking, perhaps I can move onto some new skills a bit more complex--say, riding my bike in the bike lanes that everyone likes to walk in and not get out of your way?
At first, I took great offense at all this. I mean, doesn´t anyone realize I´ve got an invisible bubble around me saying, don´t invade my space?! I have only recently starting getting better at all this playing ¨chicken¨ and shifting my shoulders so as to pass people by without moving out of the way. But try doing that when you go out for a run!
Crossing the street is yet another story. Surprisingly, I learned that skill much quicker than the skill of walking down the sidewalk. You just need a lot of confidence! And you have to understand the difference between crosswalks. There is one kind of crosswalk that has lights and pedestrians have to wait their turn (this one is the safest). The others don´t have lights and vehicles have to stop every time there is a pedestrian about to cross (although they step on the break at the last second!) Because of this, it takes a lot of confidence to take that first step into the street. To be honest, it can be a kind of thrill-ride, taking those first steps and hearing the screeching cars come to a halt. It´s kind of empowering, and I often think of the song, ¨I´ve Got the Power¨ by Snap!
So now that I´m starting to get the hang of walking, perhaps I can move onto some new skills a bit more complex--say, riding my bike in the bike lanes that everyone likes to walk in and not get out of your way?
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