north african matchmaking

I´ve gotten pretty used to my North African friends trying to hook me up with one of their brothers, sons, or other male relatives. In their minds, I´m single and it´s their duty to see that resolved. Fortunately, I´m able to just laugh it all off--even though I know they are dead serious about the whole matter. I´m pretty sure that my domestic abilities and Arabic language learning adds fuel to their fire. I mean, I´m single and know how to cook...they cannot fathom how I could possibly still be unmarried.

I suppose I should be flattered that so many women desire me to be a part of their family. But I´ve had a couple scenarios now where I´m left uncertain as how to respond. I become fully aware that I am not in Minnesota anymore and in a completely different culture where very different ideals are expressed.

My first story happened several months ago. I was going for a walk with a friend when we crossed paths with another North African lady. I don´t know her very well, but I´ve seen her and know who she is. After the usual greetings, she turned to me and asked if I were married. I told her no. She proceeded in very broken Spanish to tell me that a male relative of hers was in North Africa and wanting to move to Spain. However, he was unable to get the necessary papers. She asked me if I´d marry him so that he could move to Spain. I wasn´t quite sure I understood her right, nor was my friend. But the whole situation was repeated, and that´s indeed what she was asking. Ummmm.....no! I´m afraid that I haven´t remained single just so that I could marry some dude just so he can move to another country. Anyways, my marrying him wouldn´t have helped resolve his situation anyways...I´m not Spanish!

The second story happened last week. I have gotten to know one lady pretty well as she comes to all my cooking classes and is just a couple years older than myself. She´s very nice and I enjoy talking with her. The other day I was walking to the store when I bumped into her. We stopped to say hi and she introduced me to her husband. Then we parted ways. A few days later, she came to my cooking class and said, ¨Good news! My husband wants to marry you!¨ Say what??? She must have seen the absolute confusion on my face because she proceeded to say, ¨After you left my husband told me that he thinks you´re beautiful and wants to marry you. North African men are allowed up to four wives.¨ Hmmm...I knew that, but I was quite surprised that he would have said such a thing to his wife. And that she would tell me that it´s good news! Call me old-fashioned, but if I had a husband, I would be pretty jealous! There´s no way that I´d be sharing my husband with anyone. Uff-da!

Walking Survival Skills

Walking down the street here in Málaga, Spain is not a piece of cake! There are new rules to be followed. I´m not sure of what those rules are, other than to hold your ground and don´t chicken out before the person approaching you does--even if there is plenty of space on either side of you to pass by. Let the other person move out of the way! Oh, and if you notice someone on the sidewalk, quite out of your way, change your route to aim right at that person and give them a good bump as you walk past.

At first, I took great offense at all this. I mean, doesn´t anyone realize I´ve got an invisible bubble around me saying, don´t invade my space?! I have only recently starting getting better at all this playing ¨chicken¨ and shifting my shoulders so as to pass people by without moving out of the way. But try doing that when you go out for a run!

Crossing the street is yet another story. Surprisingly, I learned that skill much quicker than the skill of walking down the sidewalk. You just need a lot of confidence! And you have to understand the difference between crosswalks. There is one kind of crosswalk that has lights and pedestrians have to wait their turn (this one is the safest). The others don´t have lights and vehicles have to stop every time there is a pedestrian about to cross (although they step on the break at the last second!) Because of this, it takes a lot of confidence to take that first step into the street. To be honest, it can be a kind of thrill-ride, taking those first steps and hearing the screeching cars come to a halt. It´s kind of empowering, and I often think of the song, ¨I´ve Got the Power¨ by Snap!

So now that I´m starting to get the hang of walking, perhaps I can move onto some new skills a bit more complex--say, riding my bike in the bike lanes that everyone likes to walk in and not get out of your way?

peanut butter and dill pickles

Grocery stores in other countries are like uncharted waters. You quickly realize that all the labels are in a different language, and forget about looking for familiar packaging and colors! You will not find salt in a big dark blue cylindered Morton brand container. It will most often come in a clear plastic bag (at least here in Spain).

Then you start to notice foods that just don't exist in your store back home. Like jamon serrano, which is salted and dried ham hock with hoof still attached and hangs in pretty much every store you go into. You also find a surplus of ingredients that perhaps only take up a small section in the States. Here, there's a whole isle dedicated to canned tuna. One quickly learns what the locals eat by going into their stores!

If you are adventurous, you may buy and try things that you just have no clue as to what it is. There are still many things that I just don't know! One of these days I'll have to ask one of my Spanish friends to take me shopping and explain some of these things to me and what one does with them--like membrillo. It looks like brain jelly to me, not sure I want to try it. The name sounds too similar to membranes.

But after the newness wears off, you begin to notice some of your personal staples are non-existent, quite expensive, or just not quite the same. Like peanut butter. One can find it, but it's expensive! A small jar at Carrefour costs me close to 4 euros, which currently is about $5.50. However, I have learned that for about half the cost, I can buy a bag of peanuts, spend an evening shelling them all, and grind them into peanut butter! (And it's much more healthy too!)

Vanilla extract can be a pain to find. I have sometimes found it at Carrefour, but they don't always keep it in stock, plus, it's not the real stuff. They do carry a vanilla flavored sugar though. And real vanilla beans. So I found a recipe for vanilla extract. One cup of rum to two split vanilla beans. Works great!

Sadly, I have still not had any luck when it comes to dill pickles and root beer. I've searched the shelves high and low at Carrefour, Mercadona, Dia, and Lidl. There is a British store called Icelands out in Fuengirola, which is about an hour train ride out. The praises of this promised land have been recounted to me numerous times by my American friends here. It even has block cheddar cheese and brown sugar! But so far, I have been unable to reach this paradise!

In the meantime, I will continue to scour the shelves of my local stores, discovering new goodies and figuring out creative ways to make my treasured ingredients. Mercadona continues to surprise me with its growing amount of options that were unavailable just a couple years ago. Who knows, I may find those dill pickles yet!

A year and a half

I have lived in Spain for a total of almost 20 months! You'd think that I'd have this whole living overseas thing down by now, but that is far from the truth. Pretty much every day I say or do something stupid--sometimes without even realizing it. I'm still clueless to a lot of the cultural norms here, and despite my efforts to appear as Spanish as possible, I continue to stick out as a Giri. To the Spaniards here I either provide easy entertainment or cause for frustration. My Moroccan friends are in the same boat as I so maybe there is a bit more understanding on their part, but still, things get lost in translation.

Because of the consistency of my charming ineptness, I have decided to blog about my misadventures and the rare occasions when I finally figure something out.

So that's about it for now. We'll see how this blog thing goes.