north african matchmaking

I´ve gotten pretty used to my North African friends trying to hook me up with one of their brothers, sons, or other male relatives. In their minds, I´m single and it´s their duty to see that resolved. Fortunately, I´m able to just laugh it all off--even though I know they are dead serious about the whole matter. I´m pretty sure that my domestic abilities and Arabic language learning adds fuel to their fire. I mean, I´m single and know how to cook...they cannot fathom how I could possibly still be unmarried.

I suppose I should be flattered that so many women desire me to be a part of their family. But I´ve had a couple scenarios now where I´m left uncertain as how to respond. I become fully aware that I am not in Minnesota anymore and in a completely different culture where very different ideals are expressed.

My first story happened several months ago. I was going for a walk with a friend when we crossed paths with another North African lady. I don´t know her very well, but I´ve seen her and know who she is. After the usual greetings, she turned to me and asked if I were married. I told her no. She proceeded in very broken Spanish to tell me that a male relative of hers was in North Africa and wanting to move to Spain. However, he was unable to get the necessary papers. She asked me if I´d marry him so that he could move to Spain. I wasn´t quite sure I understood her right, nor was my friend. But the whole situation was repeated, and that´s indeed what she was asking. Ummmm.....no! I´m afraid that I haven´t remained single just so that I could marry some dude just so he can move to another country. Anyways, my marrying him wouldn´t have helped resolve his situation anyways...I´m not Spanish!

The second story happened last week. I have gotten to know one lady pretty well as she comes to all my cooking classes and is just a couple years older than myself. She´s very nice and I enjoy talking with her. The other day I was walking to the store when I bumped into her. We stopped to say hi and she introduced me to her husband. Then we parted ways. A few days later, she came to my cooking class and said, ¨Good news! My husband wants to marry you!¨ Say what??? She must have seen the absolute confusion on my face because she proceeded to say, ¨After you left my husband told me that he thinks you´re beautiful and wants to marry you. North African men are allowed up to four wives.¨ Hmmm...I knew that, but I was quite surprised that he would have said such a thing to his wife. And that she would tell me that it´s good news! Call me old-fashioned, but if I had a husband, I would be pretty jealous! There´s no way that I´d be sharing my husband with anyone. Uff-da!