the gift that keeps on giving

How long can an almond briwat last? The answer: hypothetically forever.

North African hospitality means putting forth one´s best and being generous with what one has and has been given. A practical example of this was an experience I had during my recent visit to a North African country. It was nearing the end of day 2 or day 3 of a traditional wedding--what an unforgettable time! I was already full of food and sweets, but before leaving, we were all loaded up with several more baked goodies containing almonds, dates, and other dried fruits and nuts. Each guest was also provided with a napkin and a little satchel to wrap them up and bring home to enjoy later.

Sweets to enjoy during the wedding

The take-home goodies

The next day, my friend had a tea for her female relatives. She had several goodies to bring out, but on prominent display were the wedding treats. She was showing true hospitality and offering her best. The women sipped on tea and nibbled on one or two treats, but the majority of the food remained on plates and platters. Before leaving though, my friend made sure to load up napkins for each guest, making sure each lady got one of the special wedding goodies to take home and enjoy later.

The pretty napkin and satchel

All wrapped up to give again

I began to sense a pattern. I smiled as I wondered how many of those women would entertain tea in their homes the following day, and in turn send those same goodies home with their guests. Potentially, one of those wedding sweets could go from hostess to guest to napkin, ad infinitum. It would almost be a pity to be the one to break that long chain and actually eat the sweet! Now that I think of it, how many times did I?

can openers and hash

When I first arrived in Spain back in ´08 I did some kitchen supply shopping. One of the things I bought was a can opener. However, as the months (and years) went by, I never had to use it because I discovered that pretty much every tin can has an easy-open lid. Handy! And so my can opener sat idle in the drawer. Until the other day. I had found canned baked beans and was craving my mom´s three bean casserole. So I started browning the hamburger and got a can of baked beans down from the top shelf. Oh! No easy-open lid! Wait a minute, I´ve got a can opener around here somewhere....there! Wait! What the....? How does one use this thing?

I forgot to mention. When I went shopping there were two can opener options. One for 1€ and the other for 6€. Being the budget-conscience person that I am, I went for the cheaper. Never mind that I´d never seen one, much less used one like it before. I´d figure it out....right?

Yesterday I went to a garden supply store. It was amazing! Living in a concrete world deprived of greenery and life--one of these places makes you feel like a kid in a candy store! It had everything! And I mean everything! Seeds, herbs, flowers, vegetables, fertilizer, and wait....is that what I think it is? An advertisement for growing cannabis? Hmmm...and even all the materials needed to start one´s own special garden! I guess it´s legal to have up to three plants...

I decided that it would be best not to start that new hobby. I mean, my life´s interesting enough already. Frequently I find myself confused about things that should be quite simple. Like using a can opener. I never did figure it out. Ended up using a knife. Next time I´m at IKEA, I´m buying that 6€ opener even if it breaks me!

minnesota nice vs. spanish cariño

In Minnesota we show our friendliness by offering a hand and maybe even going out of our way to give someone directions. We are constantly apologizing for requesting help or taking up someone´s time. We are generally aware of our surroundings and if we are in someone´s path, we move out of the way. We are really rather nice people.

The Spanish, on the other hand, express their warmth through their cariño, or caress. Greetings always consist of two kisses on the cheeks. When they converse with one another, it´s imperative that they stand quite close to each other, almost leaning against the other, and possibly laying a hand on the other´s arm. Walking down the street, you will most likely receive many friendly ¨bumps¨ by total strangers. They are a very touchy-feely culture.

So my Minnesota Nice clashed with the Spanish Cariño. My space bubble was constantly getting popped! And I couldn´t understand why it seemed so difficult for people to see that they were in my way, or that I needed help. Even at the customer service counter I always felt like I was causing the worker to go way out of his or her way to help me. It was getting quite frustrating! Where were all the nice people?

But then I began to understand. They were just expressing their niceness in a different way. And I thought about what it would be like if a Spaniard moved to Minnesota. They would probably see us as rather cold people, always keeping others at an arms´ length with our fat space bubbles. Just handshakes and no kisses for greetings? Yeah, I don´t think they would see us as very friendly either.

Now that I have been in Spain for almost two years, I´m seeing some changes in how I interact with others. Greetings with kisses, walking arm in arm down the street with my girlfriends, slightly bumping complete strangers, and being okay with it all! My space bubble has definitely shrunk! When I come back to the States friends, don´t feel smothered by my cariño if I start to kiss your cheek or talk to you with my shoulder bumping against yours! And if I´ve lost some of that Minnesota nice and don´t apologize before making a request, please don´t hold it against me!