In Minnesota we show our friendliness by offering a hand and maybe even going out of our way to give someone directions. We are constantly apologizing for requesting help or taking up someone´s time. We are generally aware of our surroundings and if we are in someone´s path, we move out of the way. We are really rather nice people.
The Spanish, on the other hand, express their warmth through their cariño, or caress. Greetings always consist of two kisses on the cheeks. When they converse with one another, it´s imperative that they stand quite close to each other, almost leaning against the other, and possibly laying a hand on the other´s arm. Walking down the street, you will most likely receive many friendly ¨bumps¨ by total strangers. They are a very touchy-feely culture.
So my Minnesota Nice clashed with the Spanish Cariño. My space bubble was constantly getting popped! And I couldn´t understand why it seemed so difficult for people to see that they were in my way, or that I needed help. Even at the customer service counter I always felt like I was causing the worker to go way out of his or her way to help me. It was getting quite frustrating! Where were all the nice people?
But then I began to understand. They were just expressing their niceness in a different way. And I thought about what it would be like if a Spaniard moved to Minnesota. They would probably see us as rather cold people, always keeping others at an arms´ length with our fat space bubbles. Just handshakes and no kisses for greetings? Yeah, I don´t think they would see us as very friendly either.
Now that I have been in Spain for almost two years, I´m seeing some changes in how I interact with others. Greetings with kisses, walking arm in arm down the street with my girlfriends, slightly bumping complete strangers, and being okay with it all! My space bubble has definitely shrunk! When I come back to the States friends, don´t feel smothered by my cariño if I start to kiss your cheek or talk to you with my shoulder bumping against yours! And if I´ve lost some of that Minnesota nice and don´t apologize before making a request, please don´t hold it against me!
